Hi, I’m Charles Baker Run, your Herbal Essences celebrity stylist and I’m here to show you how to get the real deal look for this hot sex summer. Say goodbye to boo hoo hoo hair and hello to who woo new hair. I dare you! I’ve developed a new system to rid that frizzy, Grandma Beals hateful look. Boo hoo too! And woo hoo!
Just repeat the five or six easy steps and you’ll be on your way!:
Wake up! Steam. The foreman’s upstairs. Oh she’s upstairs and you’re going to get it if you don’t wake up right this minute junior. Junior, are you in bed still? Junior! The foremans waitin on you and she’s cracking till Sunday, bringing up the boot, cracking. Steal. Junior. She’ll knock you flatter than Madonna now. Junior do you hear me? Oh here she comes, angry as hell, bringing up the boot just like I said, cracking till Sunday just like I said junior. If you don’t get out of bed right this instant junior, she’ll burst through that ply-door, shell burst through that hollow-core, knock off that knock-off Victorian molding, pull loose those Assyrian hinges, those rusted anodized German screws to get to you junior. Pull them loose. Boy if you don’t get out of bed right this instant junior, she’ll climb down the brick-side, if there’s a trellace, she’ll tear the roses off and stick one between her teeth as she scales down, break that double-pane of yours easy that easy insulated double pane, she’ll bust through that winter-guard, that heat-sealer as clean as Madonna’s kaballah water now, she’ll break all that glass and all that glass will go on that pine-scented floor, that eco-friendly, pine-scented bamboo floor junior if you don’t get out of bed right this instant. Ooop, here she comes now junior, get ready. Not through the door and not through the window but up the floor. Breaking up bits of that pine-scented bamboo, eco friendly wood floor junior, yep, here she comes, drilling up that foor with a bigger than anything sort of tool. Scotchguard. Drilling it right up with that big tool. Pine-Sol splattering near everywhere, small bits, can barely see them full up into the air and back down again, small Pine-Sol in the air. Boy your lucky those aren’t glue down floors junior, or she’de be right through them by now, quicker than Madonnas songs chart-rising now, if those weren’t tough floors. Weather-beater-tough floors. As advertised, tough floors. Oooop, here she comes now, I can tell by that hard sound she must be on the second ply. Only 4 more plys left junior, boy your lucky that big drill tool of hers is running on a 220 to 110 volt step down box or it would be drilling with even more gusto junior, if that big tool wasn’t on European voltage, oh junior shed already be up to the third ply. Junior I can see the tip top of the drill junior, only a few more seconds now, maybe ten seconds junior, ten seconds tops, until shes coming up. Maybe five seconds now junior. 5…4…3…2…
Keep away that frizz factor by repeating your new hair mantra daily! Once is good, twice is best for extra shine. Believe me!
And for the kids: Country kale and pear-shaped beets! Be the tetherball court boy who will swing that load all the way around, won’t stop till it hits the pole. Energized!
And don’t think we left out you fantastic couples!
Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe? Baby? Baby? Babe? Babe? Babe? Babe?
See me I’m Charles Baker Run.
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