work by Alex Deleuse.

It should be obvious that the human goes with the rest of the universe.  We say: ‘I came into this world.’ It is not true that you came into this world, you came out of it.  In the same way as a flower comes out of a plant, or a fruit comes out of a tree.  And as an apple tree apples, the solar system peoples.  Therefore people are an expression of its energy and its nature. – Alan Watts

There is one nearly unshakable feeling that follows with life. This is the feeling of ourselves. No amount of bedtime Buddhism or ego annihilating trips to the playa or midnight caffeine cafe Sartre channeling will do much to loosen it. We contain ourselves, and we maintain it fiercely. It. Let us try here to loosen it.

Of all the little creatures, we are the most capable of participating in the experience of our own awareness. At once we experience awareness, and we also name it and set its borders. The parameters in which we view our inner world are defined by a tight idea of the self, heavily named and heavily structured. Mistakenly, when we sit in prescence, we feel we are experiencing the self in a deeper way. Going deeper, going deeper into it. We have almost built of a narrative around the experience, going deeper, going deeper into it. This is the apple that thinking the tree is its appendage. As with most everything, the idea that awareness is individual is completely false and misleading. When we are in presence, we are going farther out. Going farther, farther out, moving beyond the self and borders of the mind into the collective space. It is not the precence that we contain deep within us, rather we are contained in the presence, we are resting in open awareness that is beyond the self. We do have a feeling that we are born out of something and that we still maintain connection to it, but as we develop more firm feelings around the concept of ourselves it becomes more difficult to feel that we are actually in large collective awareness. When the self gets stronger, it layers and layers the collective space to the point of forgetfulness. We keep throwing stones. This is all done on top of the awareness. Is this not clear? Don’t you see that when you are in presence you are in all of it? This is not metaphor. Is it not clear that when you are in meditation you are resting in a large expanse? Do you not see the self throwing self stones on top of it? look at the in-between space, that is where I’ll meet you.

There is an open field, fully connected. A field of awareness without borders, definitions or names. It is also the wild woods, where the the carbon collected symbols dance, reform and evolve. In the field everything that ever was. In the field everything that is and will be. We understand this as something can be accessed, but this is wrong and taking the back door. It is not accessed, because it is always present. You are in it. You are in it. You are in it. Now. You are in it. Feel the comfort of irresponsibility. You have nothing to maintain, it is already here, sitting strong beneath your undulations. Don’t you feel a great comfort? Nothing to be done. It is not yours to maintain. Rest. It is not yours, it is ours. When the self is let go of just a little bit we can rest in it. This is where the real information travels. Mythologies communicate here. This is where you receive the old ideas. The oldest times are here, the farthest days ahead. All contained. This is the apple that feeds from the roots.